No NURSING home for me!

A friend of mine was on a cruise through the Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner they noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. THey also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady. She asked the waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises,
back to back.

As they left the dining room one evening she caught the eye of the lady and stopped to say hello. They chatted and the friend said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true."
Friend said, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future.
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise
Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have
checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term
discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves
$65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can
waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which
means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a
workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free
soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a
patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the
entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to
have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and
apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you
don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip
you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the
Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the
rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South
America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand,
Asia, or name where you want to go?
Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't
look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you
over the side at no charge.